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Sexual confidence begins well before a romantic encounter, according to dating expert Shae Primus, who says self-worth and self-awareness are the foundation of a healthy intimate life.
In a recent essay, Primus argues that many women spend too much time focusing on pleasing their partners instead of understanding their own needs. She believes confidence in intimate relationships starts by recognizing personal desires, setting boundaries, and embracing pleasure without guilt.
Sexual confidence tips begin with self-awareness
Primus says women should first develop a deeper understanding of their own bodies instead of relying on a partner to discover what they enjoy.
She explains that learning personal preferences builds confidence and makes it easier to communicate openly in a relationship.
According to Primus, sexual confidence is different from seeking validation from others. She says true confidence comes from accepting yourself rather than depending on outside approval or attention.
Communication builds stronger relationships
Primus encourages women to practice expressing their preferences in everyday situations. She believes confidently asking for what you want in daily life makes it easier to communicate during intimate moments.
Instead of always agreeing with others, she says women should become comfortable sharing their opinions, preferences, and expectations.
She adds that healthy communication helps partners better understand one another while creating stronger emotional connections.
Boundaries are part of confidence
Another important part of Primus’ advice focuses on setting clear boundaries.
She says knowing what you do not want is just as important as understanding what you do want. Feeling comfortable saying “no” or suggesting a different approach reflects confidence and self-respect.
According to Primus, boundaries allow people to protect their emotional and physical well-being while strengthening trust within relationships.
Everyday pleasure supports self-confidence
Primus also argues that pleasure should not exist only in romantic relationships.
Instead, she encourages women to create joyful experiences in everyday life. Simple acts such as wearing clothes that make them feel confident, enjoying favorite foods, taking care of their skin, buying flowers, or scheduling a massage can reinforce self-worth.
She believes people who regularly allow themselves to experience joy without guilt are more likely to believe they deserve fulfilling relationships as well.
Self-worth remains the foundation
Throughout her essay, Primus emphasizes that confidence is rooted in believing your needs matter.
She concludes that before someone can confidently explain how they want to be loved or cared for, they must first believe they deserve that care themselves.
According to Primus, that mindset not only improves intimate relationships but also strengthens confidence in everyday life.
Source: ESSENCE
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